10–16 November 1856

Got up after ten. Had no time to write anything before Balyuzek came. Went to Kolbasin to look at the house, and to the Gymnasium. Managed also to write to Serezha, Masha, and Konstantinov. Bought the book. Dined at home. Read all Turgenev’s tales — bad. Dictated a little. Went to see Olga Turgeneva with Druzhfnin. Druzhfnin felt ashamed of me. Really Olga Turgeneva, apart from her beauty, is worse than Val&ya. Think much about her. Found a flat. Move to-morrow and go to the Law Council. Dreamt of a valse with Vaterya and a strange event.

Began moving first thing in the morning. Read* rubbish, wished to enter the service but refrained. Went to Davydov. Read a criticism of Youth in the A. and*M. Clover and useful. Went to my flat. Was left without boots — was angry. Wrote a tiny letter to Val&ya. Am thinking much about her. Dictated for about aft hour and a half. Went to Gardeev. Returned home with Truson. He advises me not to marry. He is a fine fellow. To-morrow to Konstantinov, Goncharov, the Law Council, and the Staff. Prepare The Landlord's Story for copying.

Have not been to Konstantinov, nor to the Law Council. In the morning wrote a little of the scenario. Called at the Staff. Retirement not before a month. Wa$ stupid enough when at Goncharov’s to promise to dine at Kutelev’s to-morrow. Gymnastics. Dined at home. Wrote one scene of my comedy and a sheet and a half to Valerya, about whom I think much.

Got up after ten. Wrote two scenes of the comedy. To the Gymnasium. An aristocratic boy was there. To Druzhinin’s after three. Gonchardv, Annenkov — all disgust me, especially Druzhinin, and they disgust me because I want affection and friendship — of which they are incapable. Followed them in a cab to Kutelev’s and lost them out of sight, at which I was glad. Dined at Kies’s. Rather expensive. From there called on Anna Nikolaevna. ... At home D. Kolbdsin all the evening. He is an honest but scarcely a good man. Read through the clean copy of A Russian Landlord's Story. It may turn out a good thing. Dictated a very little of The Degraded Officer and finished letter to Valdrya very coldly.

Got up early. Wrote a little of The Degraded Officer in the morning. Went to Panaev’s — was bored. Am awfully sensitive to praise and blame. Gymnastics — cheerful. At home Nechaev. Dined, slept, went to Okhtomski about something. Finished the rough draft of The Degraded Officer. To-morrow write to Nekrasov, fix a price for Youth , and offer it to Davydov.

Did none of the things decided on.*' Got up in the morning and corrected The Degraded Officer. Read Henry IV, and was furious with tht Contemporary. Gymnastics. Dined with Botkin. The business 'with the Contemporary. I expressed my opinion partly. Read The Degraded Officer — it was coldly received. c From there went with Druzhinin to Annenkov ; we found him playing the organ. Went to Bezobrazov. Gatherings of literary men and scientists are disgusting and don’t come off without women. Then supped with Annenkov, and talked a good deal. He is very intelligent and a good man.

Got up late, did nothing all day. Went unsuccessfully to Kovalevski and I. D., to see a fire, and to gymnastics. Finished Henry IV. No ! .Dined, slept. Annenkov, Botkin, The Huguenots , lost money, supped at Louis’s. Gave Kra^vski a promise. Love, love, alone gives happiness unfailingly.