13–19 July 1857

Missed the steamboat at eight, walked along the lake to Ried and bathed. Romantic solitude. Yester- day a white-haired woman cretin asked me if I had ever seen*such women as herself, and began to yodel and to dance. Have returned by steamboat to Brunnen with a nice old Genevan couple. From Brunnen to Schwyz with a French cavalry officer who believes in aristocracy. From there to Seewen. The old couple are drinking wine under a tree. By boat to Goldau. The old man remembers the avalanche. Steinen. Wo der Schweizer Freiheit ent stand. The day before yesterday a driver speaking about some pretty girls said, freundlich aber brav ! Schwanau island. Beggars playing the fool. A cripple wished to go as guide. Ascent of the Rigi alone. Curious rocks. The Alps. I grew irate. Meeting with two German women I know and a score of others. Monastery. Fresh milk, dogs. An ascent like the one at Kiev. A disgustingly stupid panorama. Bethlehem. Every- one in fits of laughter. Two Englishwomen, a Pole.

Got up at three. Dirty bed with bugs. The same stupid view of nature and of people. Englishmen wrapped in blankets with maps and Murrays. “ Ah 1 ” when the sun appeared. However there was one poetic moment yesterday when in the midst of a boundless ocean of mist the fiery ball of the sun stood, for some reason, here and not there. They are just like ants who crawl on to a mound set before them. I went with the English. I think I have conquered the Pole. Beautiful views from below. Returned by boat. The landlady’s daughter swanks. She is too majestic. I am deadly sleepy. Bathed. Dozed till dinner-time. At dinner got angry with the Frenchman. Really nothing can be more stupid than a comme il Jaut Frenchman. Slept, bathed, and went to Lucerne by boat. The Englishwoman has cleaned herself up and is nice — charming ! Then I met the little one but ran away from her. Supped with the pastor and his family. A fine man.

Woke at six. A splendid walk. I feel weak. Wrote in the morning. Writing is hard work. Was not lazy but have only revised five sheets the whole day, and they must again be corrected. Have made it up with the Frenchman. I flatter him. He is an empty fellow and very boastful. The landlady bores me. A silly, attentive, sixteen-year-old English lad keeps fidgeting, now with the water, now with an axe, and so on. Went with the landlady, the Frenchman, and his wife, to a concert in the Jesuit Church. Mendelssohn: the heavens open 1 Called at the Schweizerhof — Kalataev and the whole ‘chimney.’ Had a pleasant walk to the Lion. The children are sweet and make up to me. To my shame, the smell of the ‘ chimney pleases me. Pig — I gadded about and am dying of hunger. Bathed, am cruelly weak.

Got up at seven, a dog woke me, I let it out. Wrote a little and went to Sasha. What are we to do ? It is dull. Exhausting heat. After dinner wrote as much as I could in spite of the heat, and read Wilhelm Meister and Miss Bronte. The day before yesterday I had a kind and calm letter from Turgenev and a discontented one from Bdtkin. Answered them to-day but shall not send the answers. Gadded about in the evening, a cretin woman. Returning at night — Mendelssohn from the window of the pension. Is it possible that the tears of Sehnsucht which I often shed will cease as the years go by ? I am afraid to notice this in myself. I must make efforts towards a stronger character and a decent life.

I scarcely managed to finish by writing from seven till half-past ten. Ran off to them. Drove with them. Pleasant. Ereli hurrying and perspiring, and Capernaum with his mother. An unpleasant moment when I did not know whether I might dine with them or not. R£ad Rebinder. He is like a dumb log, very stupid, but with a strong desire for something righteous. Fine illuminatioti and music in the evening on the lake. Read Lucerne to them. Vavd asked me to feed him. The children are sweet.

Got up at 10.30, bathed, ran to the Tolstdys’. Found them just going away. Without reflection I prepared to go myself. Went by boat to Kussnacht, read Bronte.* Walked pleasantly to Immensee. By the lake to Zug. The view from the Kamm is the finest in Switzer- land. Was in an observant mood, bathed, am going to bed early. Have 2600 francs.