24–30 August 1857

Tried to write a little but it did not suc- ceed. Read Homer — delightful ! Went hunting, killed one. Wrote a cold letter to Mashenka. Health good.

Rose late, had overeaten yesterday. Health bad. Read the enchanting Iliad. Hephaistos and his works. Serezha was ill-tempered and offended Auntie. I am glad that I am gradually becoming a peacemaker. God grant me power of self-denial and activity, and I shall be happy. Rode to Yasnaya with the dogs. Killed a hare. Rager*2 caught it alone. A short letter to Turgenev.

Health so-so. From early morning estate- business. Bad in every way, but chiefly in that I am again being drawn into the rut of serfdom. I dislike the torture of introducing something new. Have decided to buy land in Babdrino. After .dinner, thrashing begins. Zyabrev has refused. Read Kdltsov. Delightful, and immense power. Gave five men their letters of freedom. God only knows what will result, but to make things better for peopltf even without getting the least gratitude is some- thing dohe and leaves a trace in one’s soul. I shall be off to-morrow at daybreak. August &]. Rode out at daybreak. Killed two hares. My health torments me. There is something in the sky. Arrived with Dyakov and Nikolaev ; dull and awkward. With Serezha it’s all right. Masha is away. Read nothing and \yrote nothing. God help me to begin a more active and self-denying life. Self-denial does not mean “ take from me fthat you like ”, but labour, think, and contrive, to give oneself to others.

Am 29. Got up at seven. Mashenka has gone to Spaskoe. This riled me, as she has gone alone. She and I met rather coldly. Auntie is right that Masha is not to blame for liking that clique, but she has a taste for that abominable set. Serezha has left. He and I are drawing closer and closer to one another. The chief thing is to find the chord which makes a man vibrate, and to respond to his chord. The Spasskis have come. They are dull ! The children are nice ! Auntie is delight- ful. All advice of hers, however strange and trivial in form, is golden truth. One only needs to know how to understand it. Mor&ka is bad. Read the second part of Dead Souls ; rather clumsy. Must write nothing but The Outlying Field and put Auntie into it. Am going to-morrow to the Gorchakbvs’.

Started at six. Hunted one down capitally, close to a herd of cattle. Was cross at not finding the tarantas1 2 Finished reading the incredibly delightful conclusion of the Iliad. All my thought^ of writing are confused : The Cossack , The Outlying Field , Youth , and Love. Should like the latter ; nonsense ! For these things I have serious material. Am going to bed at nine. To-morrow to Verkhoupye and to Gorcha- kov. After the Iliad read the Gospels, which I have not done for a long time. How could Homer not kno’7 that goodness is love ! It was a revelation ! There is no better explanation. Could not sleep for a long time because the woman is not the mistress of the house but a servant. Nicholas bothers me.

Started at six. Rode all day and found nothing. At Ozerkf the owner treats the peasants to drink. Reached Gorchakdv’s at six. Poverty. Vasili Gorchakov is a dull fool but a good fellow, and will become a good master. His youngest sister — a twenty -year -old and enlightened young lady — is pathetic enough in the country to move one to tears. Fell asleep at eleven, neither read nor wrote anything.