Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s diary, 1884

... After tea I went to Leo’s, who soon went out, while I remained to strum and think of something new. I hit upon an idea for a pianoforte Concerto , but it is…

In the forest and indoors I have been trying to lay the foundation of a new symphony ... but I am not at all satisfied.... Walked in the garden and found the germ,…

... Jotted down a few ideas.

Annoyed with my failures. Very dissatisfied because everything that comes into my head is so commonplace. Am I played out?

I shall soon be forty-four. How much I have been through, and—without false modesty—how little I have accomplished! In my actual vocation I must say—hand on heart—I…

This morning I worked with all my powers at the Scherzo of the Suite. Shall work again after tea.

Worked all day at the Valse (Suite), but without any conviction of success.

The Valse gives me infinite trouble. I am growing old....

Went to church. I was very susceptible to religious impressions, and felt the tears in my eyes. The simple, healthy, religious spirit of the poorer classes always…

Worked all morning. Not without fatigue, but my Andante progresses, and seems likely to turn out quite nice ... finished the Andante. I am very pleased with it.

After tea I took up the hateful ‘Contrasts’ once more. Suddenly a new idea flashed across me, and the whole thing began to flow.

Played Mozart, and enjoyed it immensely. An idea for a Suite from Mozart.

I am working too strenuously, as though I were being driven. This haste is unhealthy, and will, perhaps, reflect upon the poor Suite. My work (upon the variations…

Worked well. Four variations completed.

.... The Suite is finished.