11–17 September 1854

Rode to Letfchev. Much that is new and interesting. My teeth ached. . . . The disembarka- tion near Sevastopol troubles me. Self-assurance and effeminacy are the chief regrettable characteristics of our army — and common to the armies of all States that are too large and strong. Correct myself of idleness, irritability, and lack of character. I have received Childhood and The Raid. I found much that is weak in the former. The temporary aim of my life under present circumstances is to amend my character, to arrange my affairs, and to achieve a career both in literature and in the service.

Have behaved badly. Did nothing in the evening, ran after girls, going out contrary to my intention. The plan of forming a Society interests me much. Correct myself of idleness, lack of character, and irritability.