16–22 October 1854

I have lived through much these last days. Affairs at Sevastopol all hang by a hair. The specimen number will be ready to-day, and I again think of moving Stotypin, Serzhputdvski, Shubin, and Boborykin are going or have gone. Have lost all my money at cards. The most important thing in life for me is to cure myself of idleness, irritability, and lack of character.