12–18 February 1855

Have again lost 75 rubles. For the time being God has spared me from unpleasantnesses, but what will happen later ? My only hope is in Him. In Eupatoria there has been a bad affair — an attack repulsed, which is being spoken of as a reconnaissance. Time, the time of youth, visions, thoughts, is all being lost, leaving no trace. I do not live, but waste my years. My losses compel me to bethink myself a bit. Griboyedov’s brilliant comedy.

Khruldv1 moved 120 light guns 100 and 300 sazhens % beyond the town and opened fire. The enemy replied feebly. A battalion of Greeks and of the Azov regiment advanced to the assault. It was allowed to come close up, and was then suddenly met by grape-shot #and small-arm^ire. Our losses are estimated at from 600 to 800 men. The detachment retired, and the troops have settled in their quarters. In Sevastopol from February 11 to 12 a regiment of Zouaves attacked the new Redoubt but was repulsed. It was sufficient to allow it to be said that “ the affair was favourable to us Our loss is stated at from 200 to 500 men. The thought of obtaining leave or entering the Military Academy occurs to me oftener and oftener. Wrote to Stotypin that he should get me moved to Kishinev. From there I would manage one or other of those two.

Have lost a further 80 rubles. Began writing character -sketches ; that idea seems a very good one both in theory and in practice. I want to try my luck at cards once again.

Lost another 20 rubles yesterday and will play no more.