12–18 March 1855

In the morning I wrote about a sheet of Youth. Afterwards played bdbki and chatted with Bron^vski. We have planned to arrange a boarding- house. He quite shares this good idea.

Wrote Youth and a letter to Tatiana Alexdndrovna. The plan of the boarding-house is maturing. I have failed in so many things that to accom- plish this I wifi work persistently, diligently, and carefully.

Yesterday wrote Youth, but to-day have done nothing at all, partly because in the evening Luzhfnin detained me and I went to bed late, and partly because I was on parade in the morning.

Wrote about a page of Youth satisfactorily, but might have written more and better. Went to bed late.

Have re-read the pages of my Diary in which I examine myself and seek paths or methods of improvement. From the very beginning I adopted the most logical and scientific method, but the one least practicable : that of recognising the best and most useful virtues by reason and attaining them. Afterwards I saw that virtue is only the negation of vice, for man is good, and I wanted to cure myself of vices. But there were too many of them and correction on spiritual principles would be possible only for a spiritual being ; while man has two natures, two wills. Then I understood that gradualness is necessary for improvement. But that too is impossible. One must by one’s reason prepare a position in which perfectibility is possible, and in which the bodily and spiritual wills most nearly agree ; for self-correction one needs certain methods. And I accidentally came upon one of those methods. I found a standard to determine in which cases goodness is easy or is difficult. In general man strives for spiritual life ; and for the attainment of spiritual aims one needs a position in which one’s bodily tendencies do not contradict but accord with the mental desires : ambition, the love of woman, love of nature, of art, and of poetry. So this is my new rule in addition to those I long ago set myself : to be industrious, reasonable, and modest, to be active always in pursuing spiritual aims, to consider all my actions from the point of view that those are good which are directed to spiritual ends, and to be modest, so that the pleasure of being satisfied with oneself should not change into the pleasure of exciting praise or surprise in others. I also often wished to work system- atically for my material welfare, but that aim was too many-sided, and besides I made the mistake of wishing to attain it independently of circumstances. With my present rule I will work for the improvement of my welfare to the extent to which it can afford me means for spiritual life, and I will only work in ways that do not run counter to circumstances. My vocation, as far as I can understand from ten years’ experience, is not practical activity. So that farming is least of all compatible with my tendency. To-day the idea occurred to me of renting out my estate to my brother-in-law. In that way I shall attain three aims : I shall free myself from the cares of farming and from the habits of my youth, shall limit myself, and shall pay off my debts. To-day I wrote about a sheet of Youth.