26 March–1 April 1855

First day of Easter. Was in Sevastopol the day before yesterday. That trip was particularly, pleasantly, successful. In all my comrades from the south I noticed real pleasure at seeing me, even in Kryzhandvski's bashi-bazouk. Pleasantest of all for me was to read the very flattering reviews of The Reminiscences of a Billiard- Marker in the papers. It is pleasant and useful because by inflaming my vanity it incites me to activity. The latter effect is unfortunately not apparent. For some five days have not written a line of Youths though I have written the beginning of Sevastopol by Day and Night? and I have not yet Degun to answer the nice letters — two from Nekrasov, and one each from Valerian, Masha, Nikdlenka, and Auntie. Through Nover6zhski I am offered the post of Senior Adjutant and after considering it well have accepted it — but do not know what will come of it. Turgenev says truly that we writers must occupy ourselves with some one thing, and I shall be better able to occupy myself with literature in that position than in any other. Will suppress my ambition — my desire for promotion and medals — which is a most stupid vanity, especially in one who has already found his career. Did nothing to-day and probably on that account am in a strange, coldly irritable, state of mind. We are going to Sevastopol not on the 24th, but on April 1.

In the morning wrote some pages of Youth , but in the evening did nothing except some words of Sevastopol , partly because there were many visitors, partly because I am unwell.

Wrote some eight pages of Youth and not badly, but did not write the letters. To-morrow am going to Sevastopol as Quartermaster of our battery. I shall learn by actual experience what the constant fire we have heard from here for three days past means. There is talk of the repulse of an assault on the Fourth Bastion, on ChorpUn, and of a heavy bombardment.

April There has been bombardment and nothing else for the last six days, and this is my fourth day in Sevastopol. As to my transfer, it has not come off, because they say that I am only a sub-lieutenant. It is vexatious. We are short of powder.