26 May–1 June 1856

From 8 till A.M. wrote diary and notebook, then idled with P. and Vasenka. Went to the Kaldshins. Did not find them at home, saw no one but the mother who finally disgusted me. Unfortunate S. ! Called on Sushkov, who expressed to me his dissatisfaction with the Hussars. Then to the Khovrins, who are nice, and with whom I have a sort of comfortable feeling. It was too late to dine at Madame Bakhmetyev’s and I was very glad of it, for I went with Kostinka to Pokrovsk and dined at Lyubochka Behrs’. The children waited on us. What dear, merry, little girls ! Afterwards we walked and played leap-frog. We met the Bakhmetyevs, but I escaped from them. Returned to Moscow to Mademoiselle Vergani’s at eleven. Olga is a fine girl. Am leaving to-morrow with Vergani. Sukhotin and Obolenski asked me to the Diakovs’, and I went, and talked with A. for three hours, sometimes tete-k-tete and sometimes with her husband. I am convinced that she knows my feelings and that she is pleased. I was awfully happy, and have now been sitting till 4 A.M. with Kostinka.

Yesterday wrote a letter to Kamenskaya, in which I again offer her my services. Got up at one. Went with Vasenka to Bakhmdtyev’s, but did not find him in. Then we stayed at home and dined. After dinner I left with Vergani, who had called for me. Obolenski came, and I might have spent another evening with A. Who knows whether it would not have been for the worse.

When travelling Mademoiselle Vergani is the most palpable despot I ever saw — foreigners are like that. Went round by Sudakovo ; life there is splendid. At Yasnaya it is sad, pleasant, but somehow not in harmony with my feelings. However comparing myself with old Ydsnaya memories of myself I felt how much I had changed from a liberal point of view. Even Tatiana Alexdndrovna displeases me. You could not knock the injustice of serfdom into her head in a hundred years. On the road I composed some verses which seem weak. To-day I am calling a meeting, and will say what God grants. Have been to the meeting. Things are going well. The peasants understand gladly, consider me a speculator, and therefore believe in me. Luckily I did not romance too much and spoke clearly. Supped and chatted with my Aunt. Wrote some five pages of A Landlord's Diary. It’s going on for two — am going to bed.

Tried to get up at six, but fell asleep again and slept till twelve. Sat till half-past one with Aunt, then went across the fields to church. Very pleasant. Then to Grumont, selected trees, bathed, and drank milk. Returned on horseback, dined, chatted with Aunt and with Natalya. Wrote three letters : to my two brothers and to Vasenka, and went to the meeting. It was nearly quite upset, but now is going all right. It is midnight. I have supped and am going to Masha's.

Have arrived at Pokrdvsk towards ten o’clock. Felt uncomfortable with Valerian. I still don’t understand him. Masha’s children are awfully sweet. Her breath smells ; that is a serious misfortune. Went to the bathing house, breakfasted, slept, wrote a letter to Turgenev. Woke up at six, bathed, played with the children, had an explanation with Valerian, supped and am going to bed. Am rather uncomfortable here and feel it is not my fault.

At*five in the morning rode to Turgenev’s. Arrived at seven. He was not at home. Chatted with Perfflev and made notes in my notebook. By his house I saw the roots from which he comes, and this explained much to me and reconciled me to him. He returned. I lunched, walked, had a very pleasant talk with him, and went to sleep. Was awakened at dinner-time. His uncle’s family is unpleasant. Morally insipid German women, who therefore, no doubt, use their position as landowners harshly. The story was told of how the steward had killed a peasant ; and at dinner the doctor was present who had given a certificate that the peasant had not been killed. We drove home, chatted pleasantly, and did the same at home, where there were some easily amused young ladies. Should like to write the story of a horse.

Got up at ten, gadded about, now with the children, now with Valerian, and now with Turgenev (with whom I had a bathe), and then with Masha. Then we floated on a raft, and had a little music. Am pleased by Mdsha’s relations towards Turgenev. He and I are friendly but I don’t know whether it is he or I that has changed. There were all sorts of visitors. Miss Zhuravlev, an extremely fresh, healthy, sixteen year old. . . . We dined, again walked. The children have grown fond of me. Have had tea, and am going to bed without having done anything.