7–13 July 1856

From there we marched. The regiment is like any other. Arbtfsov is an honest maVi. Lauriz is a' learned, stupid, and rich German. We dined with him, tried our strength, and bathed. The Rzh^vskis have arrived. He is really a teacher. One felt awkward. Went to Turgenev’s and am there now. On the way experienced a religious feeling strong to tears.

Got up late. Serezha arrived. Masha and Valerian have behaved badly. It is uncomfortable for Serezha, and for me still more so. Spent the day absurdly. Turgenev has arranged his life stupidly ; one should not arrange it in an unusual way. His whole life is a pretence of simplicity. He is decidedly uncongenial to* me. In the evening we fished and I had a fine chat with Serezha. He wants to go abroad. We made splendid plans. Am afraid they are nothing but plans.

Got up late. Stayed to dinner. Kdrpov, Shenshfn, and Beer were here. Told a shameful lie in a letter to Rzhevskaya. Went with Serezha to Chern, and then we nearly quarrelled. But it’s all the better, our relations are the firmer for it. We shan’t quarrel again. We were on the road all night.

Went to bed, woke at twelve. Played, dined, went to the Ars^nevs’. They had visitors there. Vaterya is very sweet and our relations are easy and pleasant. If they could only remain so always !

Meant to go to 6lga Lazarevich’s, whose name-day it is, but I have caught cold — rheumatism and a sore throat. Played and dreamt all day at home and was happy. How charming Aunt Tatiana Alexdndrovna is ; what love !

Got up late with a sore throat. Did nothing. The family from Sudakovo arrived. Vaterya was nicer than ever, but her frivolity and absence of care for any- thing serious is terrifying. Am afraid hers is a nature that cannot even love a child. However I spent the day very pleasantly.

Got up early. Throat better but back still achea Rode* to the oat - fields through Babiirino to Myasoy&iovo. The property there has lapsed and the peasants are free. The domestic serfs have settled on the land. T had a long talk with one of them. They go more often to the tavern and have cut down the orchards. Some are worse off, but all say that it seems pleasant to be free, one may lie in the grass as much as one likes. I want to go to the Arsinevs’ and have a talk with Mile. Vergani. Have not spoken with Mile. Vergani. Met Zavalivski there, and afterwards Spechfnski. He seems a good fellow. They teasejl Vaterya to tears about the coronation. She was not at all to blame, but I felt uncomfortable and won’t go there again for a long time. Or perhaps it was that she showed me too much friendship. I am afraid of marriage as well as of baseness, i.e. of amusing myself with her. But to marry, much would have to be changed, and I have still much work to do on myself. Returned late.