13–19 April 1857

Took a bath, feel weak. Read till mid-day, then worked all day except for two hours which were taken up by Lvov.

Continued reading the Gospels and con- densing my prayers. Bath. Health pretty good. Horrible weather. Wrote and meditated all day. Shall be obliged to alter everything; there is too little connection between the characters.

Got up late — the baths. There read the preface to the Comidie Humaine : shallow and self- satisfied. Read a little of the History of the Revolution , and LiberM by £mile Girardin — inconclusive though honest. Wrote nothing but considered afresh. Will write what is most essential in the very briefest way. It is coming out dreadfully immoral.

Wrote a short note to Turgenev in reply to a nice one received from him. Went twice to church service. Read Liberti by Girardin. Good, but leads to nothing. Wrote a little, reconsidered much. Must do three things. (1) Educate myself, (2) work at poetry, (3) do good, and test these three matters daily, i Ap il 17. Believe I have finally thought out The Fugitive. Went to the doctor, ordered some things. Baths. The Holy Shroud. Mar. is well built. Read LibertC% went to confession. A good thing in any case. Had a letter from Auntie.

Woke at nine, took communion. At home read Liberti ’, at the baths Balzac and a newspaper. Walked, dined. Absurd company controlled by table- turning. Read the history and constitution of Switzerland. Went out in a boat. Think I have The Fugitive nearly ready, shall set to work on it to-morrow. If I fall asleep I shall not go to church.

Slept badly and kept feeling afraid of being late somewhere. At nine went to the baths, at home read the History of France. Went to hear Martin preach. Clever but dreadfully cold. Wrote a summary of it. Dined hurriedly and went with Pushchin to the Tolstoys’. Met Mar. twice, she is not bad looking but is haughtily polite. The Pdshchins are delightfully kind-hearted. Meshch^rski may be of use to me, I will go to see him. I was terribly democratic — stupid. Also stupidly flirted with an Englishwoman.