11–17 May 1857

To the doctor. A trivial raisonneur. To the Tolst6ys\ cheerful, with them to Sal&ve, very pleasant. I am so ready to fall in love that it’s dreadful. If only Alexandra were ten years younger ! A fine nature. Then to Petrov. An ascetic — intelligent, ardent, and knows his business. He spoke well. I pray God to give me such faith.

Got up at eight, went to a magnetiser, a doctor who firmly believes in it. To Calame, a dull man, but a man of great talent. On my way to the Bocage met Rydbov and Pushchin and returned with them. Saw Ryabov off and went to dine. Pushchin is a happy man, it always jSeems to him that there is much that is beautiful dwelling within him which he cannot express — and this especially when he drinks. If he were wiser he would see that all that dwells there is nastiness. Went to Thonon ; I talked to an American clergyman. We went on foot to Amphion. Poplars darkened by clouds that had emptied themselves and through which the moon was visible. Suddenly a footpath and three white Newfoundland dogs, a splendid house. Drank champagne. I spent much money.

We started at six and reached Meillerie on foot by nine. On a boat till twelve. Dinner with an Ukrainian, Kab&ski. He can’t understand mountains or a handkerchief. A dull official rogue. The Galakhov girls passed. I felt ashamed. Went to the Meshch^rskis* with Kdstya and P. I might by now have a son of his age. . . . Have put matters right with the Galakhovs. I have been stupid all day. Wrote a letter to Bdtkin and posted it, and one to Tolstaya which I did not send.

Got up at 5.30 and walked till 8.30. Wrote about three sheets of The Deranged. Kostya is charming. In the evening Karamzina came with he** niece. A fine girl, kind and simple.

Got up at 7.30 and walked till breakfast. Wrote very little. Took K6stya back. After dinner read a silly novel by About. We went to meet Michael Ivanovich. Lit lamp. Returned tired at . Idle.

Got up at 3 and walked to Bonet. Wrote a little. After dinner read Las Cases. The Tolstoys have arrived, and I went to them and was silly enough to tell them Longfnov’s story. Returned pleasantly. Meshch^rskaya is a good woman and her conservatism is sweet. “ I see in them the future murderers of my children.”

Upset a salt-cellar. Got up late. Headaches a little and a terrible gloom has come over me. However I wrote a little. After dinner felt quite unwell ; slept till seven. Went to the Meshch£rskis\ Went to the Tolstdys’, they overtook us. The evening at the Tolstoys' ; I told them much about Sevastopol and the Caucasus.