29 June–5 July 1857

Woke late, gadded about the town, returned at one.* Wrote a little after dinner. Walked with Druzhfnin to Montreux, chatted pleasantly. He is awfully short, but fat and round.

Left for Geneva. My head aches worse and worse. On the steamer were two Frenchmen, a notary, and his brother-in-law a socialist. Shenshfn, a Russian landlord, said in a whisper that it is a pity — Cavignac has lowered himself ; his wife is a most kindly, fat, flat-faced lady. In spite of my headache I went for a walk. A pitiable creature : Comme si vous Jaisiez la chariti, je vous jure.je vous promets ; and I, beast that I am. . . .

Spent it in Geneva, not well, in town fashion — distractedly. In that hurried frame of mind, expecting something, when you don’t watch yourself at all, let wrong actions pass unobserved and are only vaguely dissatisfied with yourself. That is the dangerous time. Have disappointed the Tolstoys a couple of times, have hardly seen them, have not seen the priest ...» have spent heaps of money, have done nothing, and was in such a state that I was ready for anything. To-day I saw Druzhfnin off and went to Yuerdon in clothes that suited me. Conversation about the Geneva Freemasons. Le Grand Orient in France and V Alpina in Switzerland. Fine views from the door of the railway-carriage. Yverdon is one of those Swiss towns which I am tired of. Will write to Keterer and to Pushchina. There are the same nocturnal shadows in Yverdon. Have written stupid letters to Pushchina and Keterer.

Woke at nine, hurried to the steamboat. Such a crowd as I never saw before. A young curly- headed Swiss lad who speaks French correctly, lies, muddles, but does it all fluently. Rousseau was a Free- mason. Different types : (1) square-cornered Germans with broad jaws and brooches on one side of their shirt- fronts ; (2) slender Parisian Frenchmen ; (3) stout, stalwart Swiss. The railway : shouts, wreaths, greetings to the travelling potentate — the people. Dinner with the Courier. A travelling school of girls and boys with a rosy, perspiring, heavy-jawed master. French folk in another carriage, they want to Jaire la noce everywhere. An enchanting moonlight night ; the shouts of the drunken crowd do not destroy the beauty of the moist plain bright in the moonlight ; thence one hears the corn-crakes and the croaking of frogs, and something seems to draw me thither. But should I go there it will draw me still more strongly on to the farther distance. It is not with pleasure that my soul responds to the beauty of nature but with a kind of sweet suffering. It was pleasant as far as Berne, the people in the carriage were asleep ; I looked out of the window and was in that happy mood in which I know that I can be no better. Found a lodging in the Courome. The entrance of troops with a band seemed to me sad.

Woke at eight — slept badly, had a nightmare of consumption. Went to a fete ; mean, and unredeemed by the grandiloquence of the inscription : “ Diplomatie Jiihrt die Volker in die Enge .* A Swiss drives his plough to-day and is sword in hand to-morrow.” Much boasting about their courage. They too want some kind of trifling puffed-up nonsense. Everything in good order. Officers flourish sticks at the people. The same types. Absence of poetry. One man had his coat torn, he demanded a franc for the damage and the crowd supported his claim. I feel rather weak. There is a hot smell of trampled grass, acidity, and dust, on the promenade. A fine and crowded dihner. I don't mix easily and don’t please at once. After dinner I went back to the promenade after writing some two sheets of The Demented. Omnibuses pass one another with flag-waving and with songs. A dandy in blue swallow-tail coat and wearing shoes — proud and irate. The firing — pif-paf ! — is incessant. The mountains are beautiful. At a table a soldier and a servant and some citizens have collected and are singing. An old man keeps starting the tunes and though he sings false they don’t turn him away. An officer who has won a prize, drinks. The crowd standing on the tables looks at him delighted. An unpoetic people. Merry-go-rounds. A tall Swiss gets up adjusting his braces. A circus. Germans noisily jump. ErstUrmung von Sebastopol behind the curtain. A soldier believes it. An anatomical theatre. The young are attentive. I meet a conjurer. Menagerie : a poor Russian bear. Night : coarse shadows. Am overcome by weakness. A pretty woman on the promenade — a little fatty.