18–24 April 1853

I got up early, read something of Avdeev’s, The Flying Snake , and wrote fairly well. The plan of my story is only now beginning to present itself clearly. I think the story may turn out well if I can avoid its coarse side artistically. All the same I have wasted much time, being unaccustomed to work. My brother and I have just had an explanation about money-matters, which is always unpleasant. After dinner I went to see Epfshka and talked with Solomdnida. * . . . The sight of any woman's naked foot makes me think her beautiful.

(Easter Day.) Did not go to Church but, breaking my fast, ate kulich which had been blessed. Did nothing all day. Played at Bar with some boys and the officers. ... I did not get drunk, nor did my brother, which pleased me much. Alexeev was particularly good- natured.

Spent all these days like the first, played at Bar , admired the girls, and once got drunk at Zhuk^vich’s. I have finished the rough draft of Christmas Eve and will begin correcting it. To-day was a very unpleasant one. Nothing came from Kizlya as the horses had been stolen. My present wishes are : To obtain the St. George's Cross as a soldier , qualify for a commission , and that both my stories should be successful . Two days ago it happened that Nikolenka and I drank a good deal and chatted together for a couple of hours very pleasantly. I have grown quite unused to work. . . .