5–11 September 1853

Struggled with idleness. To-day wrote a little. Chatted in the evenings with Valeryan. Have 5 rubles left. Am satisfied with myself about everything except idleness.

Did nothing. Chatted with Masha, made plans for our living together in Moscow. Idleness, and the consciousness of idleness, torment me terribly. To-morrow will work even if it turns out rubbish, just to satisfy myself, for life with continual remorse is torment.

Valeryan and Masha have left. Wrote in the morning and evening, but only a little. Cannot master my idleness. Have planned writing a chapter at a sitting and not getting up till I have finished it. Slept for a long time after dinner. It is now 4 o’clock.