12–18 September 1853

Got up late. Finished the History of Karl Ivanych before dinner. After dinner strolled about. Went into the church, where I felt much depressed, then on the Boulevard I walked with Klunnikov and brought him away with me. Slept the whole evening. To-morrow morning will go to the park and will think out a chapter of The Fugitive , which I will write before dinner. Afjer dinner will lie down and must absolutely think out a chapter of Boyhood.

Felt terribly dull in the morning. After dinner walked, went to Bukovski’s and to Klunnikov’s. Then had an idea : Reminiscences of a Billiard-Marker — wonderfully good. Wrote, went to look at the Assembly and again wrote Reminiscences of a Billiard-Marker. It seems to me that I am only now beginning to write with ardour. On that account it is good.

Finished the rough draft, and in the evening made a fair copy of a sheet. I write with such enthusiasm that it is even distressing. My heart fails, and I tremble on taking up the notebook. To-morrow Valeryan and M£sha will arrive. Teodorfna is sulky with me, and I will not go to see her any more.

Wrote in the morning and went without dinner. Went for a walk. Masha and Valeryan arrived. Smyshlyaev was there till 8 o’clock, and I did nothing. Wrote from 8 till 11. It went well, but the style was too irregular. I have written more than half of it.

Am a brick and work excellently. Have finished. Went for a ride with Drozdov. Smysh- lyaev promises me money.

Did nothing all day. Wrote a letter to Nekrasov. Read my article to Masha in the morning and in the evening went to Smyshlyaev’s.

To-day began to write, but laziness overpowered me. In the evening went to Smyshlyaev’s and wrote verses. Humour is possible only when a man is convinced that his unspoken, or strangely expressed, thought will be understood. It depends on one’s mood, or still more on the audience, or on the opinion one instinctively forms of one’s audience.