9–15 January 1854

Copy out the rules. Did it only in the evening, and not in a book but in a notebook. In general I have not decided about the rules. I know they are useful, but I do not know how to make use of them. Probably I shall divide them into those that have been tested, and the untested ones. Revise what I have written. This too I did only late in the evening, and hardly corrected anything. Strolled about till dinner. Ask Alexdev whether I have been recommended for a cross. Did this when he came to see me. The cold is terrible and I have caught a cold, which together caused me to spend the whole day thoughtlessly and without doing anything. Continue An Artilleryman' s Notes if I have time. Had no time in the evening, though I was in the mood for it. Infringements : (1) Got up late. (2) Lost my temper and gave Aleshka a beating. (3) Was idle. (4) Was unsystematic. (5) Was depressed.

Morning of the 10th, A Landlord's Morning. Got up late and could do nothing, it was so cold ; besides which Zhuk^vich, Epfshka, and the Nog&ys hindered me. Walk and copy the letter to Paulina Itynishna. Went out to walk, but returned at once on account of the cold. Managed somehow to rewrite the letter. Enter up thoughts and rules. Did not do it ! In the evening An Artilleryman' s Notes. On account of the cold went after dinner to Zhuk^vich and spent the whole evening and night absurdly. (1) Sprawled. (2) Was depressed. (3) Got angry : hit the cat. (4) In general forgot about the rules. (5) Tried fortune-telling.

Returned home in the morning, but Zhuk^vich and other visitors prevented my doing anything. After dinner Ogdlin, Zhukevich, and my kunaks from Stary-Urt arrived and gave me no peace till dusk. At tea-time Chekatovski came. Complained to him about my misfortunes, and had only time to write half a page of An Artilleryman' s Notes. Heard that Knoring has been killed. (1) Spoke evil. (2) Was lazy. (3) Shirked a decision. (4) Was generally depressed. (5) Tried fortune-telling.

In the morning, walk and write A Land- lord's Morning. Got up very late, warmed myself, was almost suffocated by fumes from the stove, and rdy cold got worse. Then Ogolin came and I wrote nothing. Shall go for a walk. Have done it. After dinner — thoughts and rules. On returning home lay on the bed and went to sleep. Having waked up, opened my notebook and considered, but did not write down, a fundamental thought. In the evening An Artilleryman' s Notes. Again opened my notebook, but instead of writing began to think about the Turkish war and the Caliphate. After supper heard that I am transferred to the 12th Brigade, and decided to go home. Avoid all expenditure for vanity. Satisfaction of physical passions is only possible in the present ; satisfaction of the mental passions — ambition and love of wealth — in the future ; satisfaction of con- science with the past. (1) Meditated. (2) Was lazy. (3) Was disorderly. (4) Told fortunes by cards.

In the morning wrote Youth . Rose late, went to the Chancellery and to Zhukevich and Kfrka, and only wrote a letter to Sulimovski. In the evening An Artilleryman' s Notes. Spent the evening with the officers and the cadets. Only copied out a little of the Swan's Songs and revised what had been written. Inquire about my fur-coat. Have done it. Borrow money. Have not done it. After supper wrote a bold letter to the Editor (of the Contemporary ) (1) Was idle. (2) Was undecided. (3) Said I was acquainted with Sukhotfn : an untruth.

Morning and evening wrote Youth. Though I did not get up early and was not very keen I had set to work when some officers came, and I was weak enough not only to fail to send them away, but to drink too much with them. Am also angry with myself for showing attention to Makah'nski whom I dislike. After dinner I sprawled on the bed, and only at dusk began to write. Before supper I wrote two sheets and after supper one. Again I have inflammation in my nose and . . . but I don’t feel anxious. Ask for money — but have not done so, because I expect to do it better on my return from Kizlyar. (1) Was idle. (2) Did not restrain myself. (3) Was disorderly. (4) Was irritable when trying on my uniform. (5) Undecided in relation to Makah'nski. (6) Looked on at cards.

Youth , morning and evening. In the morning finished Swan's Songs. The officers hindered me very much. Alexeev offered me money. Stiegelmann has arrived and hinders me. (1) Boasted. (2) Was undecided. I don’t remember anything else — that is all.