14–20 August 1854

Wrote so little that it is not worth mention- ing. Rode on horseback after dinner, bathed, and in the evening called at Stotypin’s, whence I brought away a rather unpleasant feeling. But two things are bad : I twice got furious, once with Tishkdvich and then with Schwartz, and I did nothing.

Got up early and rode to Odobeshto. That expedition was not altogether successful. Wrote little and very badly. Slept, went to the races, and spent the evening at home. I repeat what I had written before : I have three chief defects : (1) lack of character, (2) irritability, and (3) laziness, of which I must cure myself. Will watch these three faults with all possible attention and note them down. Then later, if I cure myself of these, will set to work on the fulfilment of the two rules : con- tentedness and seeking the affection of others. But even now I will try not to lose sight of them.

Got up towards 7 o'clock, wrote well enough but little, dined, and again wrote a little. . . . Sat at Stotypin’s, then disputed abominably much about original sin, and so am going to bed in a bad mood. In the morning I shouted at Nikita — irritability, (i) Was lazy in Andrdnov’s presence, (2) lack of ^character, (3) disputed hotly — irritability. Sum total : irritability, lack of character, and idleness. The most important thing in life for me is to amend these faults. From to-day onward I will complete my Diary every day with that phrase.

March from Fokshani to Tekucha, on which I happened to accompany the General and Stotypin. Passed the time pleasantly except at lunch when I was undecided and shy. At midday I had a good sleep and read the wonderful comedy Poverty's Not a Vice. Took a walk and wrote some pages. Reproaches for to-day: (l) Shouted at Aleshka, (2) was undecided in my behaviour to the old man and (3) on meeting Kryzhandvski in the evening. (4) Went in to see Nover^zhski though I did not wish to do so. (5) In the evening became dreamy and lazy. The most important thing in life for me is to cure myself of the three vices : (1) idleness, (2) lack of character, (3) irritability.

March from Tekucha to Berlad. Con- ducted myself well all day excepting (1) indecision when meeting the General for the first time, (2) when encounter- ing the two Gorchakdvs with whom I have quarrelled, and (3) idleness in the evening. Instead of reading Die Rauber ,* I might have written something. Most im- portant of anything in life for me is to cure myself of my three chief faults.

Rose early and wrote a good deal. In the evening was at the Stol spins’ and came away with an unpleasant feeling. Am satisfied with the whole day except a little idleness when I was at work. Might have worked still less and been satisfied, but am dissatisfied that during the time of work I allowed myself to rest. Most important of all in life for me is to cure myself of my three chief vices — lack of character, irritability, and idleness.

Have finished The Wood- Felling. Sehwach ! Dined at Stol^pin’s and was too curt with Kryzhandvski. In the evening went gadding about with thoughts that Vere not good, and consequently, and because of toothache, did not write the project I had intended to. The most important thing in life for me is to cure myself of the three vices — idleness, irritability, and lack of character. Went wrong to-day in regard to the last.