9–15 July 1855

Gorchakdv and V. hindered me from working and came in in the evening to play cards. I played contrary to my rule of fixing in advance how much I would risk, and lost 100 rubles, but afterwards won them back from Gorchakov and even won another 25, though this is still owing me, for I repaid 25 to Volkonski and lent to Gorchakov, who now owes me 150. Laziness — one, lack of character — two.

Do not myself know why I have done nothing though my health is considerably better. Was occupied all the time with calculations for playing stos , from which no certain rules result, but the following are likely. In Sevastopol the bombardment is terrible. It troubles me. A crowd of thoughts for Youth are entered up in the note- book. J shall soon make use of them without copying them out. Laziness, laziness, laziness.

In the morning wrote a letter to Louise Volkdnski, with which however I am dissatisfied. Read some strange thing of Balzac’s. In the evening Gorchakdv and Burnashev came to play cards. The latter related the following remarkable fact. They have a Kriegscom- missar, an awful fool, a Major Duchinski, who believes anything that is told him. Burnashev having returned from Sevastopol told him that another Kriegscommissar carries on the following operation (Duchinski dreams of operations) : the burial of corpses is entrusted to him and the government allows him ten rubles for each soldier buried. A coffin costs only three rubles, and he gives the men vodka to keep up their courage. Duchinski believed all this and envied the other Kriegscommis^ar. “ Only the rascal does not set crosses on their graves and the soldiers grumble,” added Burnashev. “ Well, but if the govern- ment does not supply them, where is he to take them from ? ” replied Duchinski, to prove that it would be ruinous. Laziness, laziness ! Burnashev is being sent as adjutant to Orenburg, and this suggests to me to apply to be sent (in January, or by the time when I shall have paid off my debts and collected about a thousand rubles) as an adjutant to Moscow, or to the munitions-factory at Tiila. Have only to-day sent off Sevastopol in May .

Have written nothing all day, read Balzac and been solely occupied with the new chest, and have realised that there will be no Treasury money left over. Am even surprised that the thought should have occurred to me of taking any, even though it was a quite unneeded surplus. Am very glad I have devised these chests, which will cost over ioo rubles. In the evening lost eight rubles at eraldsh .* (i) Laziness, (2) laziness, (3) irritating idleness. Total, four. To-morrow morning will write Youth.

Have been engrossed in reading Le Lys dans la vallie* and have written nothing. In the evening played £cart6 with fezarski, having decided not to risk more than ten rubles, and I really stopped myself. Some such losses will be an enormous gain to me : I shall test, and learn to trust, my character. Reproaches : (1) laziness and (2) laziness.

Read all day. Moved into the village on account of the rain. Played cards with Stotypin and Gorchakov in the evening. Laziness, laziness, laziness : total, three. Health seems rather worse.

Rules : Fix for a year the monthly amount of losses, from which regular winnings (that is winning to as much as the sum fixed for losses) are not to be subtracted nor added, but which is to increase by as much as remains over from thejDrevious month. For this year, till July i, 1856, I allow myself 75 rubles a month. Have lost 17 rubles 90 kopeks. Have won 25 rubles. Consequently may lose 82 rubles 10 kopeks. R6sen and Stotypin were here. Have been lazy all day. Health not good, fever and headache. Am afraid of being laid up. (1) Laziness, (2) lack of character, (3) laziness, (4) lack of character.