16–22 July 1855

Again did nothing all day. Played cards, lost 13 rubles, and so have 69 rubles and 10 kopeks to lose. Thoughts : Want to write An Officer's Diary. Savftski was saying in the evening that Schiedemann hates me. That bit of scandal upset me. However, I am guilty towards Scheidemann for having spoken badly of him. Rule : Never speak evil of anyone needlessly.

Health is worse. Have done nothing. Three rules : (1) To be what I am : (a) by capacity — man of letters, (6) by birth — an aristocrat ; (2) never to speak badly of anyone ; (3) to be economical with money.

. . . Have done nothing. Laziness, laziness, laziness !

Received a letter from Pandev to-day. They are satisfied with A Cadet's Tale , and are printing it in the eighth number. Played eraldsh at Hagmann’s. My illness remains as before. Wished to write, but laziness, laziness, laziness ! Lost rubles 70 kopdks, so have 66 rubles and 40 kopdks to lose.

Did nothing ; but had visitors, Stotypin, etc. Passed the time very pleasantly. (1) Blamed people and (2) was lazy.

The Stol^pins and others hindered me all day. In the evening I gave a terrible example of lack of character and indecision. . . . Laziness, lack of character, and indecision — three. Lost 8 r. 60 kop., and so for this month 57 r. 80 kop. remain ; but I have lent 25 r., so the balance is 32 r. 80 kop.